Buying Diamond Is Rough

 

For many men, the only thing more daunting than "til death do us part" is buying the diamond engagement ring that begins 85 percent of American marriages. But the intricacies of diamond buying probably wouldn't be much clearer if women did the buying.

There are the pushy salespeople. With new meanings to words such as girdle, pavilion and dispersion, there is almost a new language to learn. And the biggest anxiety-producer? The lingering worry, sometimes even after your beloved sports her new sparkler that you paid too much for what you got.

The realities, though, say many jewelers and diamond experts, is that while each diamond is unique, there are clear guidelines for buying an engagement ring to fit any budget. And in recent years, consumers have had more opportunities than ever to teach themselves the ins and outs of diamonds before they face a salesperson.

"At the start I was completely ignorant about diamonds. It felt at some places like I was going to a used-car lot. Once I understood that all diamonds are based on major criteria, it became a lot more straightforward and easier to compare," said electrical engineer Matt Knebl, of Aliso Viejo, who bought a three-stone engagement ring and wedding band for his fiance, Marissa, for their May wedding. "At first, they all sort of looked the same, especially to a bachelor's eye."

They may look the same, but there is a big difference in color, clarity, cut and carat -- traditionally known as "the Four C's." And with those differences come a big difference in price. Those qualities matter, too, because they determine how well the stone will hold its value over time. (Like gold and most real estate, diamonds do not depreciate.)

More than 60 percent of respondents to a recent jewelry- buying survey spent from $1,000 to $5,000, according to the Diamond Information Center, the publicity arm of the De Beers Group, the world's largest diamond producer. An additional 5 percent spent more than $10,000.

Before you lay out that kind of money, said Ladera Ranch jeweler Barbara Parker, it's important to know your intended's taste in jewelry. She suggested looking at rings in advance or bringing in magazine photos of styles they like. When men come to her showroom to buy any kind of jewelry, she peppers them with questions about the women in their lives.

"I want to know them as well as I can. I want to imagine them with that ring on," said Parker, 50 percent of whose clients are young couples marrying for the first time.

If you are unsure about what to choose, most jewelers suggest buying the largest, best-quality diamond solitaire ring you can afford, rather than a ring with several low-quality stones.

Earlier this year, financial analyst Hector Alcantar, 31, of Laguna Niguel set out to buy an engagement ring for his wife, Veronica. He went to a mall jewelry store, but said it was too "high pressure."

"I felt like I was there to buy a used car," said Alcantar, who got married this spring. "They said things like, 'Isn't this something she would like? What kind of deal can we make you to have you walk out of here with the ring today'' "

Like many consumers, Alcantar spent hours reading Web sites to learn about diamonds and prices, rating his knowledge at a level one at the start and an eight or nine by the time he bought the ring from Ruth Fitzgerald at Jewelry Designs by Ruth Fitzgerald in Laguna Niguel.

"The most confusing thing was the different organizations that rate the diamonds, " Alcantar said.

In the end, Alcantar's homework served him well. He went with a GIA-certified princess-cut diamond in a platinum solitaire setting. Choosing the stone and the setting were the only real tough decisions, he said. He declined to say how much he paid, but he said he was able to get a better ring than he had first expected because he knew what to look for.

"You know," he said. "Once you find the right one, it's easy."